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Of Mice and Men Controlled Assessment

Have a go at assessing your last Controlled Assessment against the AQA criteria

Annotated Feedback

In relation to the exercises completed in class this week, here is a copy of the annotations we made when we decided to work as a group to improve your work.

Character Paragraph Annotated Samples_1

Books and Films that deal with Paradox

Hi Alex,

I’m excited that you’ve selected Paradox as a focussing point for your theme study. I’ll include here some initial ideas for texts, plays, films and other media, and add to it over time.

(Remember you can access the official outline and examples of prior students’ work here: http://waugh10.www.edutronic.net/category/theme-study/)

  1. Catch 22 – Cleverly suggested by your mum and a great starting point for developing your ideas about paradox
  2. Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut – A text that also explores the possibilities of a non-linear narrative structure,
  3. Many of Phillip K Dick’s Novels and Short stories – it’s amazing how many of these have been turned into films in the last decade
  4. Donnie Darko – A highly original film involving a central paradox, set in 1986, involving a troubled 16 year old and a life-sized rabbit
  5. Hamlet – One of Shakespeare’s most famous Anti-Heroes, Hamlet is faced with choices that implicate the fate of the future of the state of Denmark
  6. Minority Report – (one of the aforementioned films based on a Phillip K Dick short story
  7. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Caroll – is worth reading as an investigation from a more adult point of view into the presentation of paradoxes (remember a paradox can moral as well as metaphysical)
  8. Dreamquake Duet by Elizabeth Knox – Ostensibly ‘teenage’ fiction, however, I read these books as an adult and loved them. Very complex underlying premise that is revealed slowly and artfully
  9. Any novel by William Gibson – Who, in his novel “Nuromancer” established such neologisms as “cyberspace” and “the matrix”
  10. The Matrix – Film
  11. Event Horizon – Horror Film
  12. The entire 30 series of Doctor Who – Though there are some episodes that deal directly with paradox (in terms of time). Let me know if you want to know more about that)

I also recommend that you source, perhaps from a library, a text about one of the early philosophers (perhaps Plato) and read their thinking about the nature of Paradox, or alternatively explore writing about one of the famous philosophical paradoxes. There are also mathematical paradoxes. It would be outstanding if you felt like reading some Bertrand Russell – though the only time I did was because my maths teacher used to read from his work in our Maths classes.

 

 

Controlled Assessment: Spoken Language Study

Comment:

I read this essay with a great deal of interest and pleasure. For the most part the effort you made to express it as an impassioned argument was successful. You developed a consistent argument and employed a range of examples and ideas to support your point. Your introduction deviated from the traditional “outline your main points” structure; which might have undermined the clarity of a less confident piece of writing, however it enhanced this essay as it set up the discursive tone effectively. The response never deviated from a laser-focus on the question and in the most part made subtle points supported by sophisticated detail.

Your conclusion was particularly effective, embedded as it was in the scope of the question, but demonstrating a personal curiousity about language and its growth.

Areas you may wish to develop in the future:

  • Occasionally your expressive adverbials and adjectives, “immensely” etc, may have detracted from the over-all confident tone of your writing
  • The latter part of the essay, where you referred to aspects of speaking and texting that were more socially-constructed, lacked the accurate use of detailed exemplification that characterised the earlier paragraphs. I would contend that detailed examples, thoroughly explained, are even more important when an essay is exploring more nuanced ideas (for example, an example of idiolect or cockney rhyming slang would have strengthened your later paragraphs)

This is Your Online Domain

 Icon for Student Blogs at Edutronic.Net

Hello and welcome to your personal online journal.

This platform has been created to enhance and enrich your learning at the London Nautical School. Its purpose is to provide you with an audience for your work (or work-in-progress) and you have the choice (by altering the ‘visibility’ of your posts) of whether your work on here is visible to the world, or only to your teacher.

Anything you post here in the public domain represents you and thus it’s important that you take care with that decision, but don’t be afraid to publish your work – as the feedback you may get from people at home, your peers and people from around the internet is only likely to enhance it.

Remember you can always access your class blog and all manner of resources through the Edutronic.net main website – and by all means check out the sites of your peers to see what they’re getting up to as well.

If you have any questions for me, an excellent way to get an answer is to create a new private post on this journal. I am notified of any new posts and will reply swiftly to any queries.

Make the most of, and enjoy this new freedom in your English learning.

Righto!

 

Mr Waugh

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